Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
