But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
