she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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