Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
