That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
