I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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