Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
