He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
