My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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