oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She announced her abortion via fbk
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
