'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
