I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
