we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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