so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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