the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
