sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
