i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Small penises have feelings too.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
