I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
