Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
