Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
