It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
