I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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