I think i peed on brittanys purse
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
