It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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