I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
