He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
