Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
