just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
As shirtless as possible
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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