I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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