the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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