I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
