and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
