Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
