Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
In America we eat man semen.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
