I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
