Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
