do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
