I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
