Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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