Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
