Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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