it wasn't lemon gatorade
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
