I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
