i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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