It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
