used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
