I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
