Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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