If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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