love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
