i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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